Sunday, September 23, 2007

A TRIBUTE TO MARION NEUHAUS


1918-2007

When I realized that I wasn’t going to be able to attend the Celebration of the Life of Marion Neuhaus, I decided to write down and share with you all some of the wonderful memories I have of that great lady.

First of all, you should know that I was married to Charles Neuhaus, the younger brother of “Grandpop” Herb Neuhaus, Marion’s husband.

Charles and I spent many happy Sundays visiting Herb and Marion in their little house on Manitou Road in Manasquan. In fact, the first time was way back in 1941 when I was dating Charlie and he insisted that I had to meet his favorite sister-in-law, Marion. I wondered how we would be received, just dropping in but I shouldn’t have worried. Of course, Marion insisted we stay for dinner and as always acted as though we were honored guests. That was Marion, no matter when you showed up, she was always happy to have your company. The first thing she would do was to put on the coffee pot and invite you to have a meal with them. Remember, this was right at the end of the Great Depression and money for groceries was tight but no matter what she had, Marion was always ready to feed you a meal.

Marion was like a big sister to my husband, Charlie from the time he was a teenager and was always encouraging him in his life whatever projects or jobs he was interested in. In fact, she used to help him choose gifts for me when we were dating (I wasn’t supposed to know he had help). I believe she even picked out my engagement ring.

Charlie and I spent many weekends visiting Marion and Herb. One time I remember being at the house(by now there were quite a few little “Neuhauses” running around ) we were all sitting at the table and Herb, Jr. about 4 years old was on the second floor and decided to come down the stairs on his tricycle. It all happened so fast that we just watched in amazement as he bumped his way all the way down the staircase. No one moved quick enough to stop him. He was a little bit bruised but no real damage done. Marion just took it all in stride, laughing as though that kind of thing happened every day.

Another Sunday we were at the house for someone’s birthday, I don’t recall whose, but Marion had baked (as usual) a beautiful cake, decorated it and set it on the counter until dinner time. Now my memory isn’t as good as it used to be, but while the adults were busy drinking coffee , (April ,forgive me if I accuse you wrongly), April, aged 3, got onto a stool behind the counter and reached up and dug out and ate a great big portion of the beautiful cake without anyone noticing. UNTIL after dinner when Marion brought the cake to the table for desert and realized there was a large hole in the backside of it. Well, we enjoyed the rest of it anyway. Didn’t really faze Marion at all. Didn’t seem to affect April either. Just an ordinary day with the kids.

I will always remember Marion for her kindnesses towards Charlie and myself all of our lives. But a special time stands out in my memory. When our son, Herb was born in May 1959, I was very ill and hardly able to take care of my family. At the time we were living in Kearny, NJ in my Dad’s house. When my Dad suddenly died and his house was sold we had to find a place for our family to live. Marion came to our rescue. She found us a house to rent practically across the street from where she and Herb lived in Manasquan. So we packed up and moved. Because I was ill and had to have physical therapy, Marion volunteered to drive me to the doctor’s office every other day for I don’t know how many weeks. Of course she also helped take care of my son, Herb, who was then about 7 months old.

Not to mention helping with grocery shopping, making sure my two older kids were enrolled in school and everything else imaginable. Plus of course, taking care of her own family, and keeping my spirits up while she did all these things. Who else but Marion could mange all of that? I will always be grateful.

I’ve always admired what we called Marion’s “spunk”. I guess it goes by the name of “courage.” I never saw her afraid to try anything new or travel wherever she felt like she wanted to go. There were times when I would phone to see how things were only to hear she was on her way to Florida, Texas or any other state in the Union. She could surprise you at any time.

Later on in years when she was quite a bit older, was having trouble with walking. But typically Marion was not giving up. She wanted a mobile scooter. Charles and I were living in a trailer park in West Palm Beach, Florida and Marion came to visit. Charlie had a scooter and we had a ramp built from the front door of the trailer down to the sidewalk. We were all in the trailer and Charlie asked Marion if she would like to try out his scooter. She had never driven one. Of course he meant for her to try it out in the house but Marion, feeling very sure of herself, drove out the door onto the ramp. We should have known Marion didn’t do anything halfway. She went full throttle out the door and down the ramp!!! She had a heavy foot on the accelerator not realizing how fast that would be. Well, thankfully she made it without going over the edge but you can bet we were all holding out collective breaths!! She managed to get it under control about a block away no harm done.

That was my great friend and heroine, Marion. I shall miss her forever.

Katharine M. Neuhaus
(Aunt Kay)

3 comments:

sean & kelly said...

I miss you Grandmom. I feel so empty inside. It cant be real. Not yet. Watch over us all. I love you.

Herbie said...

Grand Mom Derby,

I've been sitting here tying to write how much you meant to me and how much I Love you, but where do I begin. Just like my parents, You and Grand pop where always there for me, loving me for who I am, and a role model I want to live up to. I feel blessed to have been your grandson.

You had a unique relationship with each and everyone of us. You took the time to get know you family and it did not matter how someone became part of the family, you loved them just the same and made them feel special.

I will always remember you in my thoughts and prayers.

Love,
Herbie

P.S. I will slow down to smell the flowers

Gail and Herb said...

I know everyone misses Mom, she was a part of everyones lives for so long. Instead of sheding more tears for her, think of her with a smile,cause she is pain free and with the love of her life for all eternity. Aunt Kay got me thinking back when I had Melissa. She was born Nov.25 ,then we had Thanksgiving, we had company stay with us from Mass. Then it was the Christmas rush upon us, then it was over. I had a cold that got worse, Melissa's Dad put her in bed with me before he left for work so I could nurse her. I got worse, cold then very hot and shaky. I was afraid to pick up Melissa,I felt so weak, so I called Mom, and of course she came right over. She changed Melissa and put her in the cradle.I was burning up with a fever, so off to the Doctors she took me, then for X-rays, then to the hospital cause I had pheumonia. My memory is real foggy, but I know I was in the hallway for a while, then I got a room with a nice roommate. I got plurisy and then they drained half a quart of fluid from my lung cavity. I was real upset about leaving a new baby, but Mom took over a made sure everyone was taken care of and got off to school. While I was in the hospital fot 2 weeks Mom and other family members packed up the house and moved us into our new home in Allenwood. Herbie was 12, Lori was 7 , and both were a great help to Mom with charlie 2 and baby Melissa. Yes, Mom was a great lady and did what ever she could to help her family. She will be missed by all.